Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
