I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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