YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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