Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
