Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
is it fun? or sober?
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