Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
