Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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