How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
