I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
They have beer where we have blood.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
