so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
