He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize