that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
