The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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