i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
