I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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