somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
