he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
