Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
