I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
