So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
