I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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