Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
