So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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