One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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