whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
