I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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