OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
