I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
