you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
