so explain again why im purple
no
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
