so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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