I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
