Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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