My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize