tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
