question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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