My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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