how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
