How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
