I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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