my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I need a burrito and a hug.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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