He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
