It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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