his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
