were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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