The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
