either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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