Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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