i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
