Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
True college students do jello shots in the library
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