guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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