he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
