margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
