For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
