I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize