with your own penis?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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