Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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