We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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