You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So vagazzling was a success
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
