So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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