Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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