Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
