did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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