he puts the penis in happiness.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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