i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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