Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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