it was like eating out sand paper
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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