i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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