dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
