I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
What drink are we having for lunch?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
