Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
