There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
